Dear Cast, Crew and (non)Creative Team Behind The Abhorrently Bad Series Known As High School Musical,

For the love of fucking Jesus Christ, please stop making these terrible films which are an insult to all that is talented and creative in the show business world. Your "high school" stars are a lot of unattractive, unrealistic, unsympathetic, untalented lackies who are only famous because of mass marketing to stupid under-twelves who wouldn't know actual tasteful cinema if it shat on their heads and waved at them.

If I see Zachary Efron's face on anything else, I will vomit and I will send it to your headquarters in an envelope.

Go fuck yourselves,
Nigel Fuller


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Jesus CHRIST, what is happening to this world?

Does anyone else think that October should be the name of the eighth month in the year? I mean, it's got "oct" in it for fuck's sake.

Oh, it's "speak like a pirate day", is it?

Shia LaBeouf was in a car accident. DUI. Smashed himself up pretty good and managed to hurt his friend and someone in another vehicle.

And the whole time I was reading about it, I was thinking, "You know what would make this better? If he had crashed into a transformer."

What the fuck kind of fucking name is Knox?

Angelina. STOP WITH THE KIDS. Please. The names you choose are shit. You've already adopted half of the world and now you've had twins. So do me a favour. Give someone else a bloody chance to adopt a child, would you please? Jesus Christ.

So, I saw The Incredible Hulk this week-end. And, while I liked the film, there was one thing that troubled me. Why the bloody hell, when he turns into the big, green monster, do his pants stay on? Stretchy waists would not matter when you grow as bloody big as he did!

I was distracted by this throughout the whole movie. I know it doesn't matter, really. But, realistically, he would've been a large, green, naked Hulk. And, as he was Edward Norton, that would not have been so bad.

That said, Robert Downey Jr. at the end was like snow on Christmas.